not worthy of love Real Stories - 1 Experiences, Advice & Support

Chocolate_81922 🇩🇿

10 hours ago

Feeling Bad 😞

i feel like I'm not worthy of love, I'm lost in a world where everyone finds his other half but not me, I tried to love myself, that's what they say, love yourself to find someone who'll love you, but it's hard lovin' ourselves with all the self hate I have.

I don't want to live this way anymore

to be honest i don’t know where to start, there’s so much i’m feeling so much that is going on… im a young woman im 30 i live in algiers i have a degree in communications i worked for 8 years in different fields and i started my own business few months ago but I can’t work on it because my life isn’t going well i have essues with emotional attachment and dependency, trust issues, no friends because of the trust issues family issues all this because of my previous traumas im too nice and too thoughtful i think of everyone and i make all of my loved ones problems mine and i suffer from it too much and when i need to talk or to be heard im by myself i have been cheated on so many times that i don’t even remember if i ever haven’t been! and now i have a fiancée that i really love but that i can’t trust because he also almost cheated and he has addiction issues i suffer from anxiety, social anxiety and depression and it has been this way since i had to stop working in a toxic environment and i can’t get out of this depression i spend my days in my bad i don’t eat properly i don’t go out i have health issues if you ask where is my family in all of this well my mon died when i was 11 my dad doesn’t care and my little brother has addiction issues and is one of the reasons i feel so bad because I m worried about him i don’t want to live this way anymore i can’t even go out i have no where to go no money no friends and my fiancée is always busy thank you for reading me ...see more

5 Supports

5 Advice

My messy mind after a hurtful childhood

hey ppl am stardust not my real name of course but something closer to being myself am a nineteen old person with the mindset of a thirty year old women, I grow up early out immature fase I guess I been trough a lot as a kid let's started with how complex my story is once I was born by my a biological mother and father who I never knew I was given to an older lady as a baby cuz she couldn't handle taking care of me , to an older lady who never been able to have kids the same lady took my half brother in before I was born we have the same mother but different fathers since I was a kid my current mother preferred my brother over me although we're both not her biological parents she was with someone back then her hasband but no longer after they get divorced my brother was a kid and I was a baby growing up I was terrified of my current mother to do anything wrong or say anything wrong since she had serious mental and anger issues she been trough a lot herself but it wasn't my fault yet I payed the price hard now am not saying that she doesn't love me maybe she does but not in a healthy way and sometimes I deeply believe she doesn't like me as a person she doesn't like the way I dress or act or anything she's not that supportive in anything except my studies and she have high expectations for me all the time and it's draining during my phone childhood I spend it trying to satisfy her doing everything to make her proud but at some point I realised no matters how much I did for her she would never chooses me over my brother it was so hurtful slowly I lost trust in her stopped telling her anything about me or myself cuz I was afraid she might use it against me later as a kid I even got molested couple of times not once but I was too scared to tell my mother, same thing with getting bullied at school I got hit and made fun of but never told her sometimes duo to her anger issues when i was a kid she used to beat me and say the most hurtful stuff sometimes hit me with glasses and even once she throwed a knive on me i was twelve , she never trusted me with anything and kept making assumptions about me whenever i wan a express myself guess I never felt safe to share those kind of stuff with her anyway I grow up to be a messy person my mind is constantly foggy lately I gave up on ppl I had one relationship with a guy and it was never genuine from his side but looking around i noticed that most ppl are terrible specially men so I gave up on that idea I don't wanna get married ever although I always dreamt of being a mother but I have to gave up on that for my own safety I also lack a trust in men because what I been trough and growing up with no one to call father linger deeply and grew to influence me but I think I lost myself and I might need therapy so bad but am short on money I also attempted to suicide couple of times and even though of ways to do so and listen to that voice in my head couple of times ...see more

1 Supports

4 Advice