longing-16 related problems found

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(part3) again, don't think anyone will read or understand.. but it was in my notes and it's hard not to be heard.

8
my heart is hurting so hard i wish i could make it stop
i like this
that i am just writing in your chat then deleting like nothing ever happened
i feel like talking to you somehow but without really talking to you
its kinda a relif
because i dont have to think what you think about me
because i know that you are not reading this anyway
i dont know when will i stop
i wish that i can talk to you without really taking to you but in a way where you feel me.. not judging, not talking, not anything but feel me.
ahhhhh im so so worried about you
i was so comfortable back then.. when i tell you that you can always come to me and talk.. always. no matter what.. because i actully cared about you.. and still do
it really is silly thing that i did and that i do.. but thats what we always have been. i know that no one will ever understand it but us. 
now.. its tourture.. that i cant check if you are okay.. and you will never ever reach to me if something have happend to you.
if allah put us together after all of these things that do us apart.. i will have so much to talk about.. and i hope you have too.. good things i hope.
i am fighting every bone in my body not to like any of your silly dumb masseges.

18/10/2024

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