Do I want love or just proof I’m worthy?

Question

Sometimes I don’t even know if I truly want a relationship… or if I’m just longing for someone to finally prove that I’m worthy of love. That I’m not invisible. That I matter.
I keep thinking about love not as something I want to give or share, but as something that might finally validate me.
Like maybe if someone chooses me, really sees me, really stays… then I’ll stop questioning my worth.
I don’t know if I’m chasing connection or chasing comfort for that part of me that’s been aching for so long the part that feels unlovable, unchosen, unseen.
It’s hard to tell the difference anymore.
Do I want to build something with someone?
Or do I just want to look at someone’s love and say, ‘See? I’m not broken. I was good enough all along.’
It scares me, honestly… the thought that I might not be searching for love itself, but for evidence that I can be loved.

Coffee_58600 🇪🇬 · Accepted Answer

and we don't see the harm we do to ourselves and our self care and self worth.

so, changing this idea was a good thing to start with.
being in a relationship is sharing your personality and your lifestyle with someone else who likes both your personality and lifestyle among with believing in the same core values and ethics you believe in.

Coffee_56100 🇪🇬 · Answer

This hit me deeply. You put into words what so many feel but can’t express.
I don’t think you’re broken—I think you’re human, and your heart is just searching for something real.
Love shouldn’t have to prove your worth. You are worthy, just as you are.
And maybe someone out there is not trying to fix you, but simply hoping to know you.
If you ever feel like talking, I’d really like to get to know

Coffee_58600 🇪🇬 · Answer

I'm not trying to fix you by my words here , but rather tell you me experience dealing with the same feeling you're describing.
it all comes to how we were raised, getting the feeling from our parents or who ever raised us, that we're worthy of love only when we're following their rules and advices.
later on as we grow older, we think that this is the normal.

Banana_60000 🇺🇸 · Answer

I'm searching for something real… but with every thought, every sentence, I end up feeling like I'm just dragging my dead body through more experiences, hoping to feel alive again. The truth is, finding something real won’t matter until I fix what’s broken inside me I think
And honestly, I’m not even sure if I’m truly alive  or just moving, existing, pretending.
And yes, I’d like to talk with you

Banana_60000 🇺🇸 · Answer

It started from childhood  I know that now.
I’ve always been aware.
But chasing something, anything… just to outrun time, to distract my mind, to convince myself I’m evolving into a better version of human interaction  that became my rhythm.

Chasing wasn't about success. It wasn’t even about goals.
It was about surviving the silence.
It was the only way I could feel anything

Banana_60000 🇺🇸 · Answer

not just in relationships, but in every part of my life.

And now…
I’m gambling with everything.
Not for love.
Not for purpose.
Just to feel alive.
To touch something that reminds me I’m still here.

But fixing what broke in childhood?
I don’t think I know how.
I want to… but I can’t.

Mango_58587 🇪🇬 · Answer

ooh yeah!

Banana_60000 🇺🇸 · Answer

؟

Mango_58587 🇪🇬 · Answer

okaay

Coffee_58600 🇪🇬 · Answer

take your time, not everyone passes from a stage to another easily 
however, depression won't fix itself, take small steps one day at a time and you'll get there.