everyone things they are deep including myself nowadays and this is very annoying , everyone is thinking they are deeper than others. I'm loosing myself in this and confused with the existence of opposite sides, tired of listening to different parts of myself that I'm calling soul , psyche , body ...is even this distinction real or we just made this up with a bunch of people which makes it more real. I was developing curiosity over judgement but my constant exposure to people makes me forget my values (And I'm aware it is actually an opportunity to sharpen and understand the nuances of every value I'm choosing but I feel upset because why the hell I'm choosing this path why the hell I'm choosing more responsibility why the fuck I'm trying to build values , why the fuck I'm trying my best to heal and to be an adult to finally deal with a bunch of babies) I don't care that my writing seems arrogant, cocky lacking humbleness because I'm upset , this is part of being authentic and real is being brave enough to show your truth as it is RAW and savage (I figured that out while I was building the value of authenticity and honesty that needs courage and bravery by their side with letting go the need to be liked or loved or whatever which actually lead to something much better appreciating/loving/respecting yourself , also there is another angle the trade off thing being able to see everything as a trade off you wanna be liked by others? You may give up liking yourself in the process or you can go the other way and of course I'll always choose the other way ) I know deep down we actually don't know anything we just have the illusion of knowing because we can't handle uncertainty, we can't accept the fact that we have no idea what the fuck is going on we believe in spirituality, religion, science as something solid and accurate and we forget we are just guessing we just trying to make sense of things that doesn't make sense We forget If something is meaningless or meaningful is just our choice we choose what's meaningful for us can be meaningless to others and we can't handle that we forget what we choose can be unchosen by others What I'm expressing now feels real accurate and permanent but it's not What is real is silence is nothingess is uncertainty is observation without interpretation

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