i know that this is not the place for what I'm about to share but well I dont have other options so if you're gonna judge or give religious advice don't read this or comment on it skipping a post is an option and i know that this is not for everyone and probably no one here well get it but anyway. the d/s dynamic i was in just ended and honestly it hurts because the connection was good there was chemistry and all of it was good k**k or not. it ended in a respectful way and on good terms but I'm just gonna miss it, every part of it the care the safety the play the mundane talks and interactions the jokes the structure the respect and the things I've learned which I'm still gonna do in honour of it. i was fulfilled, calm and happy in a way i never was before i felt belonging and not being seen as too much or too little for the first time and i experienced a lot of personal growth in not a very long time and i will forever be beyond grateful. and as much as I'm hurt I'm a million more times happy for them, they deserve happiness and all the best and from the bottom of my heart i wish them everything good in life and all the peace and joy there is however deep down i just wanted to be part of it. but im glad i was for at least a while and i hope they remember me and smile♡ it was so good and safe and comfortable to the point i don't even want to get into something else even in the long term, i won't do anything like this right now because that's gonna be a bad coping mechanism and i don't even want to. I'll keep hanging onto the good memories and honouring it by continuing the self care and growth road they put me on the begging of and have my own healing journey they helped me with and on very hard days i have my physical reminder that tells me it was real, but honestly having that physical reminder hurts so much but 'look at the bright side'. i keep having a lot of what if thoughts but maybe if any of those thoughts were reality things might have not been the way they were and honestly i won't change a thing about what it♡ and i seriously wish that i was good to them too because they deserve nothing but good so i hope i was that♡ I'll try to manage the gap that this left and fill it with something that will make me proud and happy♡ it might not be for them but it's for me, because of them♡ if anyone read this far and if anyone cares please wish them all the best♡

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