I keep setting these goals to become better than my idols (I'm an artist) I improve rapidly, But for a while my physical health was taking a toll because I was studying so much, and drawing so much. I set these goals to become "better" than someone in art, and once I overcome them I'm happy for a moment, then I search for someone else to become "better" than... It seems like a never ending pattern, and it is really hard to stop myself and say... "Calm down." I remember reading this quote: "Work to improve yourself, not to prove yourself." And I just felt like: "Uh...Oops." Because, I keep trying to get better than everyone else, so that people will look at me, and care. And, I thought art would somehow help me with that. But, I'm tired. Of art, and of people just being rude to me. I can always slow down on art though. And, it does bring me joy, so I'll probably pick up the stylus again today. But, maybe today I won't try to make it perfect.

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